So I’m sitting here, typing away and watching the coffeeheads, as I’m prone to do – when this guy starts whipping the manager about the grind of his beans, one notch above espresso, not too fine, I use a conical filter, blah blah blah… fine, I get that.

 
Then he asks for a cup while his special order beans are being ground, to which the manager obliges, and the customer asks to see the grind on the strain of bean he selected.  The following can be lifted from an episode of COPS, The Sopranos, most Pacino flicks, etc…  Here goes:

Leaning over the granite counter top, he peers into the bag, "How fine is that?"

 
Not skipping a beat, the white haired man behind the counter pours an anthill of product on the slab.

"That’s not how coarse mine is is it?"

"No, yours is much finer," he smiles, closing the bag back up and walking away.

Inspecting the anthill of powder, Ballcap takes his pinkie finger, licks it, dabs the digit into the cone and licks it off, thoughtfully looking up at the ceiling as if the answers were written on the acoustic tiles.

This is exactly how this went down. Coffee is a drug.

[ /rant]